When my alarm goes off at six a.m., I know it’s time to get up. My meeting with Nick Grafton is today. I’ve been awake since four, when I woke to find Mink covering my face, fur tickling my nose.
Mink. My living, purring fur coat. My cat.
I tried so hard to hold on to sleep, blissful unconsciousness. General anesthesia.
My brain, however, wanted to watch a slideshow:
The mystery shop report. Who highlighted all those pages?
Me, at the market, shopping for treats for Joe.
Me, in the ladies’ room, primping a treat for Joe.
Joe, getting treated. By someone else.
I have read that it’s essentially impossible to think of nothing, but I tried. I visualized
grey. The O shade.
Quite right. Impossible. I started running through the alphabet backwards.
Z Y X…W… not as easy as you would think, right?
…P
O…
N… Nick Grafton in my office doorway, somehow familiar. Starched white shirt. The scent of Bay Rhum when he caught me. If masculine has a scent, it’s Bay Rhum.
…M L
K…
J… Joe, red-faced and drunk, Nick’s arm around his neck. Pathetic. I wish I could un-see this.
…D
C…
B… Baby. Baby coming soon. Life will change, forever. Am I ready? I think so. But is anyone ever ready? Maybe I’m too ready—what if Li changes her mind? Should I buy diapers, baby clothes, a crib?
Would I be tempting fate? So far I just have an infant car seat. If this doesn’t happen, I can just put it in the closet. Way far back in the closet where I can’t see it.
Li is so young. Old enough to get pregnant but far too young to be a mother. In so many ways, she’s really still a baby herself. She’s been forced into a situation with no possible happy ending—at least not for her. Her tragedy will make my dream come true. Can I help make some of her dreams come true in return? She wants to be an esthetician, told me the day I met her on the gO Spa. Can I find a scholarship for her? Create one? A… Anterdec. Meeting today with Nick Grafton. Okay. This is better. This I can handle. What to wear?
I am representing O. I visualize grey again. Dove grey suit of raw silk, seamed to fit my body perfectly, never too tight or too loose. High heels, but not too spiky. And most importantly, a necklace of glass Os, linked together with silver.
And for today’s secret power, rose silk cheeky panties that lace up the back. Matching bustier. Grey thigh highs in fine mesh.
On the outside, chic and understated. Underneath, intimate pleasure.
I am O.